$&PEOPLE SEE NO WORTH IN YOU, OH, BUT I DO"+

I'm here at my parents' place after quite an emotional day. I did my performance and it went well exactly the way I wanted it to go. But I felt a bit afraid before it was my turn, knowing that it would be very confronting and I would feel very vulnerable. My performance was about something that's very personal and has been frustrating me a lot lately so it was very connected to my feelings and emotions. Didn't cry, but felt like crying all day, also because of some of the other performances by my fellow classmates. So overall I feel like a bit of a mess emotionally, a bit of a wreck, but I manage to make myself appear perfectly fine as usual. Which was another thing that really bothered me while being at school. I feel so much like showing how I feel, but it's like there's a lock on that part of me that holds all of those feelings and I don't know how to open it

My performance was recorded by one of my fellow classmates so maybe, if I approve, I'll post it here for everyone to see, including complete strangers. But I'll definitely show it to everyone I know so don't worry ;) I think it's a good way to get to know me a little bit better or it might at least give you a glimpse of what goes on in that head of mine :P And A LOT goes on in that head of mine

10 pictures from my image collection











Yesterday I had a very nice day by the way so it's not all frustration and crying in trains on the way back home all the time! ;)

The Smiths have been on repeat on my Ipod the last couple of days. I'm apparently in need of a good Morrissey boost. His voice gives me comfort and it's comfort I need



Love you Mr. Morrissey

Tomorrow evening I'll be seeing Joanna Newsom :D and she will create a sonic womb just for me to crawl into and feel safe

:(JUST WHAT I NEEDED\%

Sing me to sleep
Sing me to sleep
I'm tired and I
I want to go to bed

Sing me to sleep
Sing me to sleep
And then leave me alone
Don't try to wake me in the morning
'Cause I will be gone
Don't feel bad for me
I want you to know
Deep in the cell of my heart
I will feel so glad to go


Sing me to sleep
Sing me to sleep
I don't want to wake up
On my own anymore


Sing to me
Sing to me
I don't want to wake up
On my own anymore


Don't feel bad for me
I want you to know
Deep in the cell of my heart
I really want to go


There is another world
There is a better world
Well, there must be
Well, there must be
Well, there must be
Well, there must be
Well ...


Bye bye
Bye bye
Bye ...

)*FORCED TO SAVE IT FOR ANOTHER DAY%^

With The September Issue being completely sold out (should have known lots of thirtysomething women with their girlfriends would all take a sprint to the cinema to see it as if the latest collection of a famous fashion designer had made its debut at the H&M) I was forced to watch a different movie. So me and my mum (dad decided to stay at home) went to see Män Som Hatar Kvinnor (Millennium: Men Who Hate Women). There's a great chance you've heard about the film because there's been a lot of hype surrounding it. It's based on the first part of the Millennium series written by Stieg Larsson who at this time last year was a complete stranger to me as to, I assume, many others. But ever since this trilogy became the new The Da Vinci Code everyone seems to be at it. Everyone, expect for me and my mum. No idea what we got ourselves into we entered the cinema and came out extremely pleased. What a thrill. It's like the usual detective mystery TV series, I guess, those you happen to see a lot on TV, but I'd never really seen any of those on the big screen. The story is solid although the ending is a bit predicatable, although I liked the motives behind it. Well acted, fast paced and extremely brutal which had me very surprised. I don't think I'll read the book anytime soon, perhaps in some years when the hype has cooled down, but who knows I might be at the cinema again once the movie adaptation of part 2 of the trilogy is released! :)

This afternoon I saw (500) Days Of Summer, one of my most anticipated films this year. As what usually happens I guess my anticipation killed it a bit for me 'cause I felt I never really managed to get completely into it. Don't know why. Perhaps I wasn't in the right mood or the fact that the film is filled with for me recognizable songs from artists such as The Black Lips, The Smiths, The Temper Trap and Regina Spektor kind of put me off. Everytime a scene started I could clearly hear the song in the background playing and all my attention was drawn to it. Couldn't help it. There's even a scene with a Carla Bruni song! I expect to be completely into it when I see it the second time. It happened to me when seeing Gus Van Sant's Paranoid Park. At the cinema I liked it, but when I saw it for the second time at home I really came to love it making it probably my favourite Van Sant film. That one I was waiting to see for a very long time so when the lights were switched off and the movie started playing I could hardly breathe. The film Once is another one of those examples. I still have to see that one for the second time though. So I'm expecting the same will happen with (500) Days. Joseph Gordon-Levitt as always is great. He's very charming and I can see him having a massive appeal. He seems this sentimental kind of guy with good looks but without that Brad Pitt or model type perfection. And although he's far from afraid to show emotions he's still the very guy-ish type too. So that makes for a wide appeal and for him being a great leading man in my eyes. Same for Zooey Deschanel who doesn't have that perfect model look either but who's still extremely pretty and dreamy. Her eyes being her strongest asset. I loved how she portrayed her character. She really made it hard for us spectators to read her and at times could be so cruel. Still you couldn't help to like her character 'cause, apart from her sweet Bambi eyes, she managed to convince you she did mean no harm and was just a girl who struggled with relationships. So I did really love the film 'cause it's all very cute but without it becoming to sugery sweet and girly, it even has some very nice animations in it as well as a funny dance scene! :DDD Me not getting completely into it yet might also have been because I held back a bit, not getting me too involved with the characters because being in a crowded cinema. Especially Gordon-Levitt's character had a chance to get me real good but I didn't let him get under my skin. I guess I didn't dare to with all those people around. :) So it'll be much better seeing it all by myself I when I will be able to get all romantic and cozy with me myself and I without anyone watching and just swoon away with every scene :D

Oh, and here's a real cool MGMT video for ya ;)



Via Stereogum