_,I FELT SO STUPID&^

Just came back from The Drums, yep, I'm home early for a change! Interesting night, lot to speak about. Normally I'm all on my own and it's not often I run into people I know. So I go to a gig and can focus all on the music being a little fanboy standing completely at the front, camera ready :DD That's how it's been lately. But for some reason, don't know how it all happened suddenly, this year my life has become more social in the sense that I happen to meet people I know a lot more than I used to, so I got people to speak to. It's all very nice and such a difference with last year already. I really find myself in a very positive space these days and am very optimistic about the future. These two first months of this year have just been really good to me. I feel much better than I felt in months, much more happy with myself and discovered all these new things about myself especially considering school and stuff. It makes me feel very happy. So tonight I ran into this girl who also worked at the International Film Festival Rotterdam, she was co-ordinating us ushers. I already had a feeling going to this gig that I might run into someone familiar 'cause during one of the parties at the cinema I was working during the festival the DJ played Let's Go Surfing which surprised me 'cause I really thought these guys were not that well known at all. But seems they are really starting to blow-up. But more surprised I was to notice that some of the people I was with that night knew the song including the girl I met tonight. So we started chatting and then another girl from the festival showed up and she had brought along a friend and that friend and I started a really interesting conversation about music as well as film. She told me she was really enthusiastic about a film she recently saw which was J'Ai Tué Ma Mère, so as you can imagine I was already loving this girl, 'cause that film is one of the best pieces of art/cinema I've ever set my eyes on! :p But there's both an upside as well as a downside to all this. The downside is that when I'm with people I know or happen to meet someone and start talking to this person my focus becomes all on the conversation. We were standing quite far from the stage and when The Drums came on we hadn't moved one bit. It was already completely full and I could hardly see a thing. I stood at the back for something like 3 songs and then finally got more to the front. I don't know, I always feel bad about getting in front of people even when these people seem much more interested in talking to their friends and drinking beers instead of listening to the band that's playing. Of course I was one of the few people around moving to the music, these two guys in front of me were standing completely still and they were tall so I had to stand on my toes to be able to catch a glimpse of the guys including my tambourine hero! When Jonathan Pierce (the singer of the band) said something like 'this next song is about my Best Friend' something like that, I overheard a guy asking a girl 'What song do you think they're going to play now?' to which she responded, 'Uhmmmmmm... Let's Go Surfing?' Just die. Seriously. You take up valuable space. I don't understand these kind of people. I can't stand them really. Here I am, I love this bands' tunes, have listened to them quite a lot the last couple of months, was very excited to see them tonight, and I'm forced to stand at the back because of people like this girl who seem to just have read about The Drums or heard about them through a friend, I really have know idea how people like her end up at a place like this, but they do unfortunately (!), taking up all this space and keeping the real lovers of music, people who enjoy gigs and attend them for the music, far from the stage. It's unfair. I don't even know why I still feel bad about getting in front of people like her, but I do. I guess I'm just to polite, 'cause it's not something you do 'cause if I had wanted to stand at the front I should have just done that earlier. So yes, it is actually my own fault and I do feel a bit stupid about it. But then again, people like this girl shouldn't just be there. If you would throw out all the people who weren't that interested in The Drums tonight and have hardly heard any of their songs, you would probably only have like four or five rows of people left from the stage on. Anyway, I had to get out of there so eventually I stood something like row 3 or 4 and had a pretty good view. Still I'm surprised the pictures make it seem I was much more close to the guys than I actually was. They didn't turn out that well though, much too dark, so for more light I guess I should have just been front row or I should have used my flash, but I don't like doing that as I don't want to bother the band with throwing flashes of light up in their face. The worst thing is, though, that when they played one of my favourite tunes, Best Friend, I was still standing at the back so I only caught some glimpses of tambourine guy :(( Well, later on I saw him while he was playing the guitar, but that just wasn't the same. Ughhh, why do I get so caught up with talking to people, I should have just cut to a break and said, wait, I NEED to go to the front, like NOW, before it gets too crowded. It's nice for a change to talk to someone instead of just waiting all those minutes, spending all that time by myself, but I really need to learn bringing the talking to people and watchign the band together so I can enjoy both to the fullest. Standing not completely at the front made for a different view though, the music might have sounded better (?) 'cause that's how I sometimes feel, that when I stand a bit more at the back, a bit more behind the speakers perhaps, the sound is just a little bit better or it just sounds different (?) This venue Bitterzoet is really nice by the way. It's kind of the same size as the little room upstairs in Paradiso. So you can be pretty close to the artists. The Drums played I think all of the songs I have of them and a couple of new ones which all sounded really nice as well so I look forward to their full length debut album! At the front it was still somewhat quiet, although the two girls in front of me were moving along really well like me and I saw some guys too, dancing. I just had expected it to be a little bit more wild. Maybe it has to do with age? A lot of late 20 year olds and early 30 year olds (?) is my guess. I always like it when I forget about certain songs and then when they start playing those I'm like, 'oh this one, I like this one!' And I get all happy because of the band playing this song that I completely forgot about and it feels so good hearing it. Tonight that happened when they played Don't Be A Jerk, Jonny, I was like, 'Oooh yeah, they have this one as well, completely forgot!' This one seemed to be quite popular with the crowd which made me happy because it's one of my favourites. It seems already weeks ago but it was only last week that I saw Japandroids and all those other bands play. After seeing The Drums I totally feel in a gig mood again so I'm going to search for another one 'cause I think the only one on my schedule right now is Yeasayer which is March 20th, that's way too long from here! I should start going to a gig every week, at the least! :DD